I really like what you’re saying here, and principally agree with it, however I think you missed out on a slightly more nuanced reason why people don’t want to hear advice. It’s frequently because of an emotional-empathetic need when people share their problems. In those situations, my approach is to ask: ‘do you want advice or do you just want support?’ this acknowledges the person’s needs and gives them agency over what to actually receive, whilst dealing with the problem of giving/receiving information that is likely already known.
Oftentimes, people just want to be supported by their friends, which can be done by listening (‘the closest space between two people’). Then they’ll solve their problems in their own time with their own tools. This also points to the issue of ‘most people won’t actually use the advice,’ which is extremely true even amongst my most intellectually respected friends: they think fast but act slow.
I really like what you’re saying here, and principally agree with it, however I think you missed out on a slightly more nuanced reason why people don’t want to hear advice. It’s frequently because of an emotional-empathetic need when people share their problems. In those situations, my approach is to ask: ‘do you want advice or do you just want support?’ this acknowledges the person’s needs and gives them agency over what to actually receive, whilst dealing with the problem of giving/receiving information that is likely already known.
Oftentimes, people just want to be supported by their friends, which can be done by listening (‘the closest space between two people’). Then they’ll solve their problems in their own time with their own tools. This also points to the issue of ‘most people won’t actually use the advice,’ which is extremely true even amongst my most intellectually respected friends: they think fast but act slow.